maybe

I’m trying really hard to fix us up. But for some reason, you just don’t respond.

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I give the whole me to you. I make sure that you get what you want; what you deserve.

But I’m not getting anything in return.

A relationship is between two people. Our relationship however, is unrequited. I don’t want to have a relationship with myself. I don’t want to be alone; waiting, hoping, dreaming that one day, you’ll realise that what we could have means the world to you.

The only way to mend this is for me to stop surrendering my heart to you. Maybe then you’ll learn what it’s like to not have someone who cares. Maybe then you’ll feel what it’s like to be me.

And maybe then you won’t be so ungrateful next time.

listen to your heart

You have a brain to process what you feel is insulting.

You have a mind to wonder why it has to be you to suffer such poor behaviour.

You have a voice to inquire why you have to endure such rudeness.

You have a heart to feel angry; undermined; patronised.

I'm just like you.

So tell me why I don’t have the same right to be mad at you when you offend me.

My brain processes that this is unfair treatment.

My mind tells me I should confront you.

My voice desperately wants to speak up.

But my heart pleads with me that I'll lose this fight and you get to exert your powerful dominance once again.

you are loved

It didn’t just appear out of nowhere. But lately it has peaked.

Her behaviour frightens me and worries me. Seeing her like this makes me want to cry.

She keeps saying that her life is devastating and worthless; that she hasn’t made anything special out of her life. She has so much time to figure out the direction she wants her life to be headed though – she could do anything she wants, I tell her. But it was hard to do this, she feels, because luck wasn’t on her side. She thinks that she’s incapable of doing things. But I know this is completely untrue. I have seen her in her everyday routine, and she astonishes me with her sheer intelligence. She’s quick-witted, sharp and smooth. She could knock out any one of us. But she’s too down on herself to realise this.

She says that she hasn’t done anything to make anyone proud. But I beg to differ.

I’m proud that she walked into my life.

(Author’s note: If you’re feeling depressed or know someone who may be suffering from depression, please seek professional help. Always remember that you are loved.)